We recently moved after living in the same home for 6 years.

In true Heather fashion, I drove to the wrong neighborhood on autopilot on two separate occasions. The second time I literally drove by the entrance to my new neighborhood and didn’t realize what I had done until I reached my old neighborhood 5 minutes later. ????‍

Both times I was on the phone, hands free of course, but my brain was completely relying on my subconscious brain.

This major faux pas really got me thinking about how powerful the subconscious brain really is. I mean for goodness sake, I have lived in my new home for over 2 weeks and have owned it for over a month, yet my brain still wanted to guide me to where it felt comfortable – the pattern I had repeated hundreds, if not thousands of times.

When we start doing deep, inner work, we begin to wake up, take accountability and realize our thoughts always create our results. Yet it can become frustrating as we start to change our thoughts on the conscious level towards what we want, it can take time to convince the rest of your brain that the new reality you are creating is even possible.

Think about it. The human body sends 11 million bits per second to the brain for processing, yet the conscious mind can only process roughly 50 bits per second.

As you work to create your new reality, your upgraded future, I would highly recommend you be persistent, yet gentle on yourself in the process. Remember it is a marathon, not a sprint.

I truly believe some thoughts can be changed in an absolute instant. Since many have been running in the back of your mind for a very long time, they might take a little longer to shift – however, they will shift.

I am certain in time, my entire brain will understand that I no longer live in Timnath. In the meantime if you see a little, white BMW making a U-turn out of the Timnath Ranch subdivision, you can I assume I still have some work to do! ????‍????

As always, sending you all so much love!

Hugs,

Heather

I made a Facebook post yesterday expressing my opinion on how I believe Gavin Newsome – the Governor of California – is failing. I shared the challenges my daughter has had with the unemployment system there. People supported me and offered ideas and help and empathy for our frustrations.

Despite feeling justified and “right”, I woke up this morning and still felt off. I still felt frustrated. So, I sat down and worked on the cognitive self-coaching model I teach others.

The basis of the model is that we all have situations or circumstances that are fact and we cannot change them. In this case mine was that after 72 days of being furloughed, my daughter still has not received any unemployment, nor has she been able to talk to a single person that can assist her.

Those situations mean nothing until we attach a thought to them. In this case my thoughts, which I so boldly shared on Facebook, were “Gavin Newsome is failing”.

Once we have a thought about any situation it automatically creates an emotion. My emotion was clearly frustration.

The next thing that happens is our emotions cause us to take some sort of action. My feelings of frustration were causing me to sit in victim mode and have lots of ruminating thoughts and anxiety. And my daughter was in the same boat.

Here is where it gets interesting. Our actions create a result and that result almost always ties back to our belief. We will always take actions that support our beliefs. Only, usually that belief is something in us we need to work on. In this case, because of my thoughts, I was failing as a mother; or, at least, failing at being the kind of mother I want to be.

Our situation stayed exactly the same – still no unemployment and we had still not been able to get through to anyone that could assist. But I shifted my thoughts to ”We can handle whatever comes our way.”

This thought was very believable to me and it created a feeling of empowerment in me.

That feeling of empowerment gave me the confidence to show up in player mode with myself and my daughter. I told her I would no longer be a victim to this unemployment crap and that I knew that she and I can both handle whatever comes our way. She voiced that she was still frustrated, and I let her know that she is welcome to think and feel whatever she likes; however, I am done being a victim to this.

I want to be the kind of mother that shows my daughter what I know to be true. . . that we all have everything in us to succeed no matter the circumstance. The end result was that I showed up for her exactly how I wanted to. Even better, 15 minutes later she walked into my office with confidence and let me know she had made a decision on a situation she had been having a very challenging time managing. She went on to have a wonderful day today spreading love and joy to herself and others.

We can all chose our thoughts every single moment of everyday. Wayne Dyer said it best, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

If you want more information on the self-coaching model I teach, I am offering complimentary life coaching through the end of May and am happy to help any way I can.

As always, sending you all much love!

Hugs

Heather

As we start to resume showings after the lengthy COVID 19 lockdowns, we will all most likely have different experiences and circumstances.

Some of us will have a plethora of pent up business and demand and will hit the ground running. 

Others may have held strong throughout the entire lockdown and put several properties under contract sight unseen.

Or you could be like me.  I was coming off the biggest 1st quarter of my career when this all hit.

I had exceeded all the goals on my business plan and was about to leave for a 3-week trip to France and Italy.

And then the world began to shut down and so did all of my active clients.  Suddenly my upcoming listings all decided to slow down and take a wait and see approach.  My buyers were all having the same thoughts.

For the first time in a very long time, I don’t have a single property under contract.

And it is ok.  It is happening exactly as it should.

I have a choice.  I can show up with a bunch of worry and anxiety.  Or I can trust that this is happening for me and stay faithful knowing I can be of service just as the universe wants me to be.

Last week I was chatting with my favorite mortgage broker.  She is the best soul sister a girl in this business could ask for.  She reminded me of what a gift this time has been for me.  How I have been able to dive into my blog, website and coaching practice.  How I have cleared space to call my friends and clients and just catch up with them.

I am learning and growing and working my ass off in order to serve the world.  Each day I wake up and ask the universe how I can truly be helpful and of service, and then I wait for the opportunities.

My value is not measured by a number on my business plan.  My value lies in my service to others. 

I know the contracts will come.  Until then, I will continue to love, learn, grow and serve any way I can.

No matter how your business looks today, please be kind and gentle with yourself.  Things really are exactly as they should be.  Show up to serve the universe and the universe will provide.

Sending you all so much love.

Hugs,

Heather

One thing I have learned repeatedly in this business is that there is no single right answer and no single wrong answer in any situation.

Getting super curious about what everyone is wanting and needing in a transaction is one of the greatest gifts I can give my clients. 

On more than one occasion, because of asking a lot of questions, my buyers have gone under contract on a home when we were fiscally not the lowest offer.  All because we found out what was most important to the seller.  In one transaction it was simply the seller and buyers same deep love for the huge oak tree in the backyard.

For me, having the ability to see and understand a series of situations, from multiple perspectives, is the key to crafting a solution that works for everyone.

However, on the path to mastery, there are those learning opportunities where no matter how many questions I ask, I can’t find that secret sauce.  I am guessing you have all been there.

No matter what you ask, do, say or offer up, you literally can’t get movement. You seriously feel like you are beating your head against a wall.  Sometimes the situation is with the other side of the transaction and sometimes it is with your client.

All the while, you are feeling the pressure of “keeping the deal together”.

If you have been in the real estate business a while you know that when a deal falls apart, it always works out for the best.  The buyer always ends up finding the right home exactly when they are meant to.  The seller finds the right buyer or ends up not moving yet and things fall into a better more natural order for them.

But what about when you are in that place where it’s still together but there is conflict and angst, and nobody wants to budge?

I am about to share a method I started using a few years ago, that I am certain, you have never heard in a negotiation class, or a CE class.  And I GUARANTEE, if you start using it, it will change your life and your business.

And it is so simple it will blow your mind.

Next time you are feeling any disturbance around a transaction….

Notice, I used the word FEELING…. your chest is tight, your breathing is shallow, you have a pit in your stomach.

STOP what you are doing.  Sit in a quiet space, put your hand on your heart and think about the most loving thing you can.  For me I think back to when my kids were infants and I used to rock them to sleep.  It puts me in the most amazing, loving state.

Once you are in that centered loving space, just simply send that LOVE you are experiencing to the person you THINK is causing the disturbance inside of you.  Just sit there and send them LOVE and light.  And then release the outcome.

BOOM.  Done.

Normally for me the entire process takes less than 5 minutes.  Every single time I have used this technique, I have gotten a call, text, or email within a few hours and the situation has resolved itself.  It is not always what I thought it would or should be, but some sort of resolution is ALWAYS there.

One of my favorite quotes relating to career comes from another one of my spiritual teachers, Marianne Williamson.

“The key to a successful career is realizing that it’s not separate from the rest of your life. But is rather an extension of your most basic self.  And your most basic self is love.”

Try putting the same kind of love you put into your friends and family into this business and watch the miracles unfold.

I can’t wait to hear your stories!

As always thank you for sharing this journey with me.

Sending you all so much love. 

Hugs,

Heather

I am sure for many of you that lack of perfection would not be a big deal. For me it HUGE. It has taken years of work on changing my darkest belief, to get me to the point that I am taking this leap, in spite of how uncomfortable I am.

We all have self-limiting beliefs. It is just part of our human experience. Sometimes we are aware of them. They are the little voices in our heads that say things like….

• “I am not good enough”
• “I suck at golf”
• “What if they think I am stupid?”

Or the one I am having right now that says….

• “What makes you so special that you think you can help other people?”

And although I know it is just my brain protecting me, it is still scary. ????

A few years ago, I uncovered a really deep, dark story I started telling myself years ago. I had just started Spiritual leader Gabby Bernstein’s, Spirit Junkie course. It is a course designed to help people do exactly what I am doing today. I have felt a calling to share this kind of work for years.

One of the first modules in the course lead me through a meditation to help uncover the story that has been holding me back. It led me to my early childhood, to a time when my family was in a lot of pain. I was two and my older brother Patrick, who was born breach, oxygen deprived and severely disabled moved out of our home and into a state-run facility, hours from our home. My parents had done the absolute best they could for 5 years, however the time had come that they could no longer care for him at home with the lack of resources available.????

As I sat quietly in my meditation, my brain started to bring up images of aunts and uncles and grandparents gently telling me that “mommy and daddy are really sad right now and that they needed me to be a “good girl””.

I had visions of my two-year-old self watching my father be incredibly angry and my mother in unbearable pain.

I remembered her telling me how grateful she was that God had given me to her. That I was her “perfect little girl”.

As a 45-year-old woman I sat in a meditation, vividly remembering an agonizing pain that had been felt by so many. It was so so deep and so excruciating that I now realize, I had no choice but to tuck it away for years. I was bawling, my chest felt like it had a boa constrictor wrapping around it. I literally felt like I was going to die.

And then it hit me. The story that I had kept buried and hidden all these years came flooding to the surface.

YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECT OR THEY ARE GOING TO SEND YOU AWAY TOO.

I literally sat there and cried for what seemed like hours. I sat with it for days. I was completely unsettled. Even writing this 3 years later has tears streaming down my face.

A few days later I was golfing with my husband and I shared the experience with him and let him know I was having a really hard time. He had heard me sobbing and since I was still feeling so out of sorts, he suggested I try to do the same meditation again. As soon as we got home, I went into a quiet room, popped in my AirPods and jumped back into the same meditation.

All the memories starting flooding back like it was yesterday. I cried and felt all the emotion all over again. Both my husband and daughter could hear the sobs from the other side of the house.

But this time, I started to heal. ???? I started to change the story in my head. I gave that innocent little girl love, compassion and nurturing.

No one expected me to be perfect…..I was perfect just by being me.

No one wanted to send me away….it was just a story I had told myself.

I started to see how the story I had created had served me in some ways and in so many other ways had held me back.

I took full accountability for the story I had created.

I began to release the pressure on myself to be the perfect mom, wife, daughter, friend and realtor.

It wasn’t easy. It still isn’t easy.

I had held on to that belief for 42 years……..and just because I suddenly became aware of it didn’t mean it was going to go away in one day.

But now I know how to look for it. When it starts to sneak back in, I work with it instead of trying to resist it. I observe it. I sit with it. I give it love. I thank it and I let it go. ????

So why now? Why is today the day I finally start my journey as a coach, a spiritual leader, and a teacher?

Because today, more than ever, we as collective souls having a human experience, need to be conscious of our thoughts. In the wake of COVID-19 we need to be deliberate in our thoughts. We need to use this time to heal ourselves. COVID-19 is just a circumstance. The lockdown we are living in is just a circumstance.

What matters are the thoughts we chose to attach to these circumstances. Our brains are designed to protect us and right now for most people their brains are like monkeys in the wild. ????

A life coaches’ job is to help you uncover and recognize your own thoughts so you can decide what you want to do with them. Do you want to keep them? Are they serving you? Do you want to change them? Is this something you want to heal? ????. It’s all up to you, however when you are living with your monkey mind you may need a little help slowing down and seeing your thoughts.

So today, I release my need for perfection, knowing that if I can help even one person during this time, it will be totally worth it. ????????????

Thank you for allowing me to share my journey. I love you all so much! ????

PS. If you want to check out Gabby Bernstein visit www.GabbyBernstein.com . She is an incredible teacher and a true gift in my life.